YouTube: Despicable Me 3 – In Theaters June 30 – Official Trailer #2 (HD)

Well, that was rubbish.

After two very, very strong films and a decent enough spin-off, the Despicable Me franchise has its first dud. It was a matter of time really; spending any amount of time analysing the post-Despicable Me 2 efforts of production company, Illumination, doesn’t end well (both The Secret Life of Pets and Sing were pretty terrible), but I hoped that the team that brought us the surprisingly brilliant first two Gru-centered films would succeed again. Unfortunately not.

The plot (or should I say plots, am I right?!) sees an eighties-themed baddie (Balthazar Bratt voiced by Trey Parker), trying to steal a really expensive diamond. Gru (Steve Carell) enlists the help of his long-lost brother to help. Meanwhile, Lucy (Kristen Wiig) is going through the same parental crisis that we saw Gru go through in the first film, and Agnes is on the hunt for a unicorn. Oh also, the Minions quit working for Gru and end up in prison, for some reason.

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I’m not quite sure why, unless Illumination are drawing the main Despicable Me storyline to a close, they opted to cram so many plots into one, rubbish film. With that in mind, I’ve come up with some plots to films based on the underdeveloped ones we got in Despicable Me 3:

Despicable Me 3 (2017): Eighties-themed baddie, Balthazar Bratt, steals the world’s most expensive diamond. More screentime means Balthazar is a far more interesting character. Gru and Lucy stop him. The end.

Despicable Me 4 (2019): Gru discovers he has a long-lost brother, Dru. Obsessed with his brother’s achievements as a supervillain, Dru comes up with a plan to trump Gru. Gru and Lucy stop him. The end.

Despicable Me 5 (2021): The Minions, sick of Gru’s lack of villainous activity, quit. They hunt down Dru and break him out of prison, and attempt to take over the world together. Gru and Lucy stop them. The end.

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Aside from the underdeveloped plots, the film is just plain boring. There are always going to be funny moments in these films – I still find Steve Carell’s Gru voice entertaining – but it isn’t a patch on the genuine laugh-out-loud moments we got in the first two films. Steve Carell is the best thing about the franchise and his hysterical laughter remains the funniest thing from any film ever. Aside from that, I was completely disinterested in pretty much everything that was going on

It felt rushed and it felt cheap. Very much like both The Secret Life of Pets (or Toy Story Rip-Off: But Here’s The Twist, It’s Terrible) and Sing (I don’t have a clever name for this, it was just rubbish), the team behind it seemed disinterested in making a genuinely good film, but rather churning out a film that they could cram down people’s throats so much that one is brainwashed into believing it’s good.

It isn’t. Don’t waste your money. Rewatch the first two, and pretend this one didn’t happen.

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