Read Film’s Alternative Oscars
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It’s that time of year again. Yes, Oscars season, when we pit our favourite films against each other and are disappointed when that film we never got around to seeing wins because it made an old, white man cry, despite its dubious racial politics.
But never fear, Read Film is here to tell you that most of the films that have been nominated deserve their nominations, but actually Get Out and Call Me By Your Name should win everything.
Best Picture
Read Film’s Nominees:
Call Me By Your Name
Get Out
Lady Bird
The Shape of Water
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Read Film’s Winner: Call Me By Your Name
Luca Guadagnino’s romantic masterpiece was all I thought about for an unhealthy amount of time after seeing it. I saw it twice and read the book in the space of a fortnight, and didn’t stop telling people about it. It’s an incredible coming of age story, an incredible love story, and a flawless exploration of sexual awakenings. I love this film and I love Timmy Chalamet.
Probable Winner: Three Billboards
Best Director
Read Film’s Nominees:
Greta Gerwig (Lady Bird)
Jordan Peele (Get Out)
Christopher Nolan (Dunkirk)
Guillermo del Toro (The Shape of Water)
Luca Guadagnino (Call Me By Your Name)
Read Film’s Winner: Jordan Peele
To say that Get Out‘s success was due to the current political climate does a disservice to what is not only a scathing satire, but a brilliantly performed, brilliantly directed, brilliantly sculpted film. Peele has achieved seemingly inconceivable standards for a first-time director, and he is fully deserving of this award.
Probable Winner: Guillermo del Toro
Best Actor
Read Film’s Nominees:
Daniel Day-Lewis (Phantom Thread)
Daniel Kaluuya (Get Out)
Timothee Chalamet (Call Me By Your Name)
Armie Hammer (Call Me By Your Name)
Gary Oldman (The Darkest Hour)
Read Film’s Winner: Daniel Kaluuya
Firstly, apologies to Timothee Chalamet for this unforgivable betrayal. Secondly, I have thought about Daniel Kaluuya’s performance in Get Out unnervingly regularly since seeing the film. The Sunken Place scenes alone should be enough to win him this award, but his humour and understated reactions to Bradley Whitford and co. make it a no-brainer. For me, anyway. Almost certainly not for the Academy.
Probable Winner: Gary Oldman
Best Actress
Read Film’s Nominees:
Sally Hawkins (The Shape of Water)
Frances McDormand (Three Billboards)
Saoirse Ronan (Lady Bird)
Florence Pugh (Lady Macbeth)
Margot Robbie (I, Tonya)
Read Film’s Winner: Frances McDormand
I don’t think there’s much to say here. She’s exceptional and she’s going to win. Special mention to Sally Hawkins who deserves her own award for Most Intimate Underwater Human to Non-Human Interaction. Paddington 2 isn’t eligible so The Shape of Water wins by default.
Probable Winner: Frances McDormand
Best Supporting Actor
Read Film’s Nominees:
Willem Dafoe (The Florida Project)
Sam Rockwell (Three Billboards)
Michael Stuhlbarg (Call Me By Your Name)
Patrick Stewart (Logan)
Ray Romano (The Big Sick)
Read Film’s Winner: Michael Stuhlbarg
Michael Stuhlbarg’s role in three of this year’s Best Picture nominees says enough about his value as an actor. His speech to Elio at the end of Call Me By Your Name is my most memorable film moment of the year. Hats off to André Aciman, for originally writing the speech in his book, and to James Ivory who left it exactly as it was in writing the screenplay. But I demand that all hats are taken off for Stuhlbarg, whose performance almost steals the show despite taking a backseat for the majority of the film.
Special mention to Patrick Stewart who was sensational in Logan.
Probable Winner: Sam Rockwell
Best Supporting Actress
Read Film’s Nominees:
Holly Hunter (The Big Sick)
Betty Gabriel (Get Out)
Tiffany Haddish (Girls Trip)
Mary J. Blige (Mudbound)
Laurie Metcalf (Lady Bird)
Read Film’s Winner: Holly Hunter
Hunter was always unlikely to be recognised for her role as Emily Gordon’s mother in The Big Sick, but it’s as good a performance from a supporting actor as I’ve seen this year, Stuhlbarg aside. I would watch Holly Hunter attacking racist hecklers for days.
Probable Winner: Laurie Metcalf
Best Original Screenplay
Read Film’s Nominees:
Get Out
Lady Bird
Three Billboards
The Shape of Water
The Florida Project
Read Film’s Winner: Get Out
It’s damn original, and it’s the freaking best.
Probable Winner: Three Billboards
Best Adapted Screenplay
Read Film’s Nominees:
Call Me By Your Name
The Disaster Artist
Mudbound
Logan
Blade Runner 2049
Read Film’s Winner: Call Me By Your Name
Listen guys, I could talk about this film for hours but nobody wants that. Not only is it the best film in the category, it is a sensational demonstration of how to adapt an already-brilliant book. James Ivory takes whole chunks from the book that he has to, changes peach scenes so they’re on the right side of disgusting, and puts his own take on Elio and Oliver’s sexual awakening.
Probable Winner: Call Me By Your Name
Best Animated Feature
Read Film’s Nominees:
Coco
The Lego Batman Movie
My Life as a Courgette
Loving Vincent
The Red Turtle
Read Film’s Winner: Coco
The Academy were a bit lazy with their animation nominees this year, weren’t they? ‘Oscar Nominated Boss Baby‘ is quite something. Coco, though, is another astonishing achievement for Disney Pixar, and there is nothing I can say about it that hasn’t already been said about every other brilliant Pixar film. I cried a whole damn lot.
Probable Winner: Coco
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